Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Oscar Celebrity Fashion Secrets

As always, the celebrities that grace us with their presence, their celebrity beauty glowing and sense of style were witnessed last night on the red carpet at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood. And what a night it was! With the style, sense of celebration and glamour of the stars on the red carpet for another night in yet another year of the Academy Awards. Elegance and sparkling gowns shimmered against the jewellery and beauty of the celebrities. Celebrity beauty secrets to share? Dieting, working out with a trainer, healthy eating, facials, botox, thermage, moisturizing, professional makeup applications and the fabulous gowns by this and that designer and, of course, the you gotta have the bling to match!

Here, our guest writer Laura L’adore spreads her wisdom of the night.

Well, the 2009 OSCARs hosted by the sublimely handsome and oh..so old Hollywood hunkamanliness Hugh Jackman was WONDERFUL!!

Loved the skits, loved the dance numbers, opening ( very SPIKE JONES MEETS WES ANDERSON)and that the MUSICAL it was campy, brilliant fun!!

Also, loved the idea of bringing out past recipients to pay homage to 2009 nominees............

Though Sophia Loren scared my cat, myself and well, let's just say that my father's 50 year long drooling over her ........is..well, so over her.........shiver...........

Sophia - Step away from the olive oil and no, one does not need to brush it on one's whole body and then lie in some villa in Capri dahhhhhhhhhhhhling....... soaking up sun for months !!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok, I know, Laura, back to the gowns!!

Angelina Jolie – though your predilection for black gets a wee bit predictable, I must agree – very Madam X – John Singer.

What saved it? The emeralds, darling, the emeralds, (ring and earrings…) Fedex those to me ASAP!!!

Sarah Jessica Parker – “It is Dior Couture!!” She kept bragging at every red carpet interviewer… yeah, well, it overwhelms you sweetheart, and, frankly, when did you become cross-eyed and overly botoxed? And note to both of us… When one has a big nose (admit it, you think mine is big too… You just overlook it because that Laura is so funny!!) One should never, even have your hairline going straight down the middle of your hair/head!!!! Sheesh!!

Penelope Cruz – enough with the updo at Awards shows – so very sexy… Prom…. Do not like…. I worship at the altar of your sexy hair…. Work it… use it… embrace it… The dress, vintage Balmain, ok, the workmanship detail – exquis!!! Oui! Oui! Exquis… The overall look Chateau Laurier – 1940’s drapes. Did the dress reek of cigar and Canadian Club? See? That should have been a hint… not to wear that dress!!! Dress also overwhelmed you…

Heidi Klum – you have got to be kidding me!! Love Red, but non! Non!!, Non!! Trop, C’est trop!! But yes, hand over all those bracelets!! And the rings…. Yes, oh… Lovely!

Kate Winslet – dress was lovely, very elegant… Hair though lovely too was so very shellacked!! And can we please stop complimenting every blond actress who when dressed right looks so very Grace Kelly? There is only one Grace Kelly – She was the Stunner of Stunners. She is dead… Rest in peace.
Jessica Beil – You are a nobody, boring actress, but you are gorgeous, last night was either a wow… or you glue gunned/stapled a Wabaso 5000 thread count saint origami folded sheet to your dress…. So, did you? Or was that Timberlake’s idea for, you know… Post-Oscar frolicking of the X-Rated kind? Again, no biggie, you are Gorgeous!!

Tilda Swinton – your cheekbones could cut glass, your eyes are piercing, you are risky, more avant-garde than Bauhaus and I do find you rather oddly attractive in that Teutonic Ice fairy type (think Greta Garbo – aha… see) of manner… So I did love the gauzy blouse with black skirt combo because it works only on you…..

Miley Cyrus – what are you doing at the ….? Never mind!!! Ok, ok, this one was… difficult… The dress I was frankly, in love with it… (Vivien Leigh – Gone with the Wind) But then… pan to the belt… oh… God… oh God… the elastic waist… the gaudy metal butterfly painted with cheap enamel that I used to witness too many times cinched around Ginettes of all ages during my teenage years at the Pointe Gatineau malls…. Oh… The Horror!!! The Horror!!!
Marisa Tomei - WOW..WOW...WOW...WOW...... That is an Oscar dress if I ever saw one…. Argh!… If only I was a size 0!!!

Frieda Pinto – loved the cobalt blue… But no sorry, you are one of the most, if not the most stunning of Indian women yet to be witnessed on the silver screen… this was not the best choice of dress… I know, it IS Galliano… but something was just off for me… Ah! Yes, the hair… It was rather Elvis… Y!! Then again, as I stated earlier, you are gorgeous… you would look good in EDDIE BAUER!!

Photos courtesy of Newsworld

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